Esoteric Uncovered

I have looked for a solution to the widely accepted notion of the oral fixation. While most people agree it exists, most don’t take it very seriously.

Chewing gum is the generally accepted cure for an oral fixation. It has never worked for me. My jaw gets sore and my teeth hurt. I have a tendency to sallow it, too. Is swallowing chewing gum bad for you? Apparently not. It leaves your body intact through your stool.

At a question and answer site, supposedly manned by some sort of experts, a man suggested the use of a pipe, best used without the tobacco. According to him, women smoking pipes are very cool right now.

A female expert at another site suggested one always have a large glass of water handy filled with ice cubes. Crunching on the cubes would satisfy the need to have something in your mouth and the fulfill urge to chew.

Other suggestions were to use lollipops, mints and sunflower seeds. All of these suggestions are based on replacing bad choices, such as, over-eating, drinking, smoking and chewing on your fingers, with less harmful, but yet similar behavior. Replacement therapy, so to speak.

One suggestion which seemed reasonable was the use of Cognitive Behavior Therapy. This isn’t one specific thing, but a group of techniques based on the idea that our thoughts and not external stimuli (such as people, situations or events) affect our feelings and behaviors. The benefit of this is that we can change the way we think to feel and act better even if the situation does not change. CBT seems very focused and practical. We’ll look at it in more depth tomorrow.

Apparently, I am orally fixated.

Sigmund Freud, thought infants are naturally in an oral stage. If they are weaned too early or too late, they will fail to resolve the conflicts of this stage and not receive enough stimulation of the mouth, thus constantly “hungering” for activities involving the mouth in later life.

A child that was underfed or neglected, may become orally dependent learning to manipulate others rather than maturing. The overly indulged child may resist growing up and try to return to that state of dependency through crying, acting helpless, demanding satisfaction, and being “needy.”

Signs of oral fixations are over-eating, being overly talkative, smoking, overindulging in sugar, chewing on straws and toothpicks, and alcoholism. Another symptom is a sarcastic or “biting” personality. Then there is constant nail biting, putting fingers in the mouth and biting sexual partners.

I eat way too much, I used to smoke (and wish I still could because I loved smoking) and I chew on pens. I can be extremely sarcastic. You can’t always hear it when I write but in person I am a regular smart aleck. I nibble on my cuticles, but no lover has ever complained about the biting so I didn’t know that was a problem until now.

Dr. Jeff Newman, a pediatrician advocate of breastfeeding believes that letting a child wean himself from the breast in his own time prevents orally fixated behaviors. I wasn’t breast fed.

I had milk allergies and problems with various formulas. I got rashes and threw up. I had to drink goats milk. I wasn’t allowed to suck my thumb and I never had pacifiers.

I just knew it was my mother’s fault. ; )

Sigmund Freud (May 6, 1856 – September 23, 1939) had cancer of the soft palate brought on by his cigar smoking. During the last 16 years of his life he had 33 operations on his mouth cavity and jaw. He had to wear a special prosthesis to cover the hole in his mouth caused from all of the surgeries and he called it “the monster.”

Freud identified the mouth, along with sucking, biting and swallowing, as the first stage in his psychosexual hierarchy. This stage runs from approximately birth until the age of two. If a person’s needs are not met during this stage of growth he becomes fixated in one of two ways:

The Oral receptive personality is preoccupied with eating/drinking and reduces tension through oral activity such as eating, drinking, smoking, biting nails. They are generally passive, needy and sensitive to rejection. They will easily ’swallow’ other people’s ideas.
The Oral aggressive personality is hostile and verbally abusive to others, using mouth-based aggression.
Freud coined the term Vagina dentata which literally means female genitalia with teeth and refers to the fear boys and men have of castration especially brought on when they first see a woman’s genitalia.

Freud wrote in an essay, “Probably no male human being is spared the terrifying shock of threatened castration at the sight of the female genitals.”

In Freud’s dream interpretation, teeth falling out indicates this fear of castration.

The biggy is the Freudian Slip of the Tongue, where you say something you had not intended but was really a truth that slipped out of your subconscious. Others believe these slips are just cognitive errors in grammar.

When looking up Carl Jung and the mouth and / or teeth the following came up as the only hit:

Carl Jung says the serpent eating its tail, the Ouroboros, is an archetype of man’s need to go through continuous cycles of death and rebirth towards growth and perfection, the alchemists true purpose:

“The alchemists, who in their own way knew more about the nature of the individuation process than we moderns do, expressed this paradox through the symbol of the Ouroboros, the snake that eats its own tail. The Ouroboros has been said to have a meaning of infinity or wholeness. In the age-old image of the Ouroboros lies the thought of devouring oneself and turning oneself into a circulatory process, for it was clear to the more astute alchemists that the prima materia of the art was man himself. The Ouroboros is a dramatic symbol for the integration and assimilation of the opposite, i.e. of the shadow. This ‘feed-back’ process is at the same time a symbol of immortality, since it is said of the Ouroboros that he slays himself and brings himself to life, fertilizes himself and gives birth to himself. He symbolizes the One, who proceeds from the clash of opposites, and he therefore constitutes the secret of the prima materia which […] unquestionably stems from man’s unconscious.” (Carl Jung, Collected Works, Vol. 14 para. 513)

This is an Ouroboros from the Chrysopoeia (to make gold) of Cleopatra (an alchemy textbook.) The words inside the Ouroboros mean ‘The All is One.’ Notice the similarity to Chrysalis (gold sheath)?

Carl Gustav Jung (26 July 1875 – 6 June 1961) was a Swiss psychiatrist who believed the human psyche is “by nature religious.” He believed in exploring dreams, art, mythology, religion and philosophy. Jung emphasized the importance of balance and harmony. He advocated the process of integrating the conscious with the unconscious while maintaining conscious autonomy.

I have never had a dream that featured the mouth or teeth in any way. Some Dream Dictionaries say that dreams with teeth as a key element are one of the most common dreams.

Apparently, teeth and smiles related to how we feel about our appearances and the anxiety engendered regarding what other people think about us. I guess that could be why I do not have these dreams. I have never been overly concerned about my appearance. Sure, I know how to dress appropriately for various occasions, situations and venues. I mostly try to comply, but usually I am more concerned with comfort and expedience when it comes to clothes. I find a favorite, buy a bunch and wear them repeatedly until they wear out.

I have not worn makeup in decades. I did sometimes when going out to clubs when I was in my twenties but more often then not I went without. Make up has always struck me as slightly dishonest, covering up the real you. Save it for stage performances.

I much prefer people in their natural states. I can not even comprehend the need some people have for plastic surgery. I always thought Anna Nicole Smith was prettier before she got doctored up. Mickey Rourke just looks way too scary now that his face has been stretched.

Contrary to what I was always told, my appearance the way I choose to maintain it has not done me irreparable harm. I never cared for the people who were overly concerned with the way I looked so I do not feel I have missed out on anything.

It dawned on me yesterday that the subject of food never came up when I was doing word associations for the topics of mouth, teeth or throat. I thought this very odd as I am hopelessly obsessed with food. It is, after all, my drug of choice. I mean, I even thought of sex in conjunction with this topic, in true Freudian fashion: oral fixation and oral sex and dirty talk. (I was saving them for a Freudian / Jungian discourse on another day.)

Like a true addict, when not consuming my chemical, I totally ignore it. There is never any in between for me: gorging or total abstinence, obsession or total denial.

Not eating makes me feel virtuous for a while but then my will power goes (I am starving, so, duh!) and then the guilt and disgust set in.

Eating makes me full, so I calm down (only anger and annoyance are allowed on rare occasions.) I become grounded to the earth, less flighty, numb and passive.

I don’t like any of these states of being, so the cycle begins again.

Becoming comfortable with my feelings is part of the process. The other part is expressing them in ways that do not cause havoc in my world. I have strong feelings and when I let them out, they shock people. Being the product of various forms of abuse, I crave unrealistic acceptance, so I mostly stay calm until the damn breaks. All of this is a typical story, one that many people can tell. I have not been able to find a solution that I like, hence my continued search.

I sneezed about thirty times this morning while trying to brush my teeth. This is odd because I rarely sneeze and when I do it may be only once or twice and is during either the Spring pollen season or the Fall’s mold season. The other thing I thought odd was it’s occurrence while I was thinking about brushing my teeth and my plan for enlightenment. I wondered if I expelled any demons.

Some sneeze facts and trivia:

Sneezes have been clocked at up to 649 miles per hour. The average is 47 mph.

In ancient Greece, a sneeze was a prophetic positive sign from the gods.

During the Middle Ages in Europe, the belief began that sneezing was fatal, thus the possible origin of saying, “God bless you” in response.

A related and persistent belief was that you purged your body of sins or evil spirits when you sneezed. You had to keep your mouth closed during and after a sneeze to prevent the evil spirit from re-entering your body. Another thought was that sneezing released your soul which may be captured by lurking evil spirits. Others believed your heart stopped when you sneezed. All of these problems could be relieved with a blessing.

In parts of Asia, if you sneezed it meant someone was talking about you.

Another odd thought I had during my mouth cleansing stint was that food never came up yesterday during my word association test which is very odd since I am and always have been highly obsessed with food. Something to ponder for tomorrow.

Brushing my teeth takes up considerable time so I thought I would begin with this mundane activity and see where it leads me. All of this is an experiment. I have no real idea where I’m going. This will be a journey of discovery, but not of pilgrimage, as I have no real destination in mind. My only real goal at this point is the relief of boredom.

I thought I would begin with some word association; just throw out words, phrases, thoughts and images that pop into my mind as I brush my teeth or contemplate the mouth.

Teeth: white, dirty, scrub, pain, grind, capped, hard, chomp, bite, grimace, tingling, fangs, vampires, wolves, growl, gums, bleed, temperature sensitive, chip in the front, pull.

Mouth: speak, shut, foot into, bad breath, stink, clean, tongue, teeth, loud, moist, wet, pink, sores, taste, hot, cold, suck, slurp, lips, smack, kiss, deep, sexy, crass, offensive.

Throat: deep, sore, constricted, long, stout, choking, swallow, gulp, voice box, Adam’s apple, congested, phlegm, hang by, necklace, silver, gold, rough, cough, raw, tonsils.

When I brush my teeth, I always think about how I often say things just because I think they are clever. They could be mean spirited or cold or even express an opinion completely opposite of my true beliefs. Then I think about the line in Bambi, as said by Thumper the rabbit: “If you can’t say something nice… don’t say nothing at all.” And I wonder why I have so little self-control over the words I speak.

I have discovered over the last year and a half that I require a great deal of fantasy and romance in order to thrive properly. These two things seem to be the reason why I like go to Renaissance Faires, read sexy novels, write my own stories, practice rituals and follow my fascination for the different.

Without a very active fantasy life, I become a great big lump, both figuratively and literally.

So I have to ask myself, “Self, how does a mature woman with tons of responsibilities in a very mundane middle class world live a more exciting life without falling into the usual pitfalls of the normal vices?”

Stay tuned, if you are not already bored, to see how I go about making my life more interesting and mystical. Watch as I attempt to claw my way out of the deep rut I find myself.

The first idea I had was to somehow make the things I do daily, like showering, brushing my teeth, etcetera, more fascinating and different. Less routine and more fulfilling. I haven’t a clue as to how I will do this but I’m thinking the process of coming up with ideas will, in and of itself, be a benefit and a step in the right direction.

Glass Ball Ornaments used to be called Witches’ Balls. They became popular in the 1800’s.

One legend says they came to be when a glass blower placed his blown glass balls in an annealing oven overnight to cool. When he took them out the next day, he would find them laced with unplanned colors. “Witches” had come during the night and “wrecked” his art. To prevent this from happening, he would hang the ruined balls to distract the mischievous spirits from ruining future work.

If you hang the glass balls in a window, the spirits will be attracted to the shiny orbs. When they touch the balls, they are captured inside and can’t harm the household.